7 Signs the Person You’re Dating Is Crazy.
“We’re all a little crazy.”
Don’t Let Wackos Into Your Life.
Dating and relationships are commonplace and a normal part of most people’s lives. Just about everybody has dated someone or had some form of a relationship with someone at some point. People do it for the sake of fun, to find someone, or just to experiment. This will inevitably lead to a variety of experiences that range from great to terrible.
An important part of selecting people is learning to weed out the good from the bad so that you can get the most desired result consistently. Like a bad customer, a bad relationship can make life more difficult and miserable than it needs to be. What starts out fun can often end up terrible. If you want to transcend your life you want to make it as hassle free as possible with the right people around.
With that in mind here are some ways to know the person you’re dating is crazy so that you can avoid them. If you are in and need to get out, there are some tips to deal with them, and to finally get rid of them.
Some Tell Tale Signs.
There are often some telling signs that the person you’re dealing with is crazy. The problem is that people ignore most of them because they are in the initial high of the relationship and the emotional/sexual aspect of it is fresh. Here are some common things you’ll often see in people in the early stages. Many times it’s not what you think and it can be subtle.
1. Constant mood changes. The person will seem cool as a cucumber in one moment and then blow up in the next making you wonder what happened and if it was your fault. The vast majority of the time it isn’t. The person is just crazy. They’ll often take small things and make them out of control as well.
2. The person has a lot of stories that just sound outlandish or too good to be true. Often the stories become even more dubious after some fact checking or even by listen to the person contradict their own story. Many people have a history of doing this and often even do it on social media.
3. People like this can be inconsistent and have a very difficult time keeping any commitments. T hey also flit in and out of different jobs and occupations unable to hold anything down. They’re drifters. Many people find this randomness exciting, but it isn’t good for relationships.
4. People like this have constant falling out with friends and family. The world is against them. Nobody likes them and it’s all the world’s fault. That’s not the say the majority is always right, in fact they’re often wrong. However if the people closest to them think they’re nuts? Move out.
5. Much of it also depends on when you meet people. Later at night and in club/bar/party scenes have a lot more chaotic behavior. Crazy places, crazy people. You might want to stay away from the “normal” places of meeting people and get used to going out in the day more. It’s not always that bad.
6. “Crazy in the head, crazy in bed”. This often rings true for women in particular. There’s a reason they’re so wild. Many people often stay for this reason alone.
7. When someone sounds too good to be true, they often are. It doesn’t help to do a little research before you get too involved with someone. Whether it’s talking to their friends or even a quick Facebook check. It can save you months of trouble, believe me.
Now at this point you’ve missed the signs and you’ve gotten caught up with the individual, or have gotten yourself in a relationship. The most important part here is to leave before they cause too much damage. Often people feel scared to leave or like they’ve “invested” their time into a person so leaving is too difficult. This is fallacious thinking, because you have to look at the time cost. It would be better to look for new prospects than to stay with a bad investment.
At this point you’ll start seeing that things aren’t quite adding up and that there are a lot of inconsistencies. More and more lies and other things that were said about them are consistently not matching up with what other people tell you. You might often find them up close and passionate at one point and then distant the next. This hot and cold behavior is often the sign of someone who is either unstable or likes control by making you feel distant.
In some extreme cases their instability gets out of control and they become jealously possessive. They may accuse you of cheating (even if they’re actually doing it!) or try to keep constant tabs on you. Some self destructive individuals will even send you suicide notes as a way to scare and control you when things don’t go their way. As you can see this instability can affect your life more and more. You’ll find yourself more stressed out and upset than you ever were before. Life will be more like walking on constant eggshells.
If you feel this way, don’t think it’s you constantly doing the wrong thing (aside from picking the wrong person), look at it as time to get out and move on. The next section gives you some ways to do that.
At this point you’re trying to leave the situation entirely. You want to do it while causing the minimum amount of damage possible. If you have mutual friends or the crazy person has entrenched themselves into your personal life, then you might have a more difficult time doing this. What you’ll often find is that people who are crazy tend to have family and friends who are also a bit off. This makes it even more imperative that you get out.
Do not let them leave things over at your place. This is a classic maneuver to have a reason to come back after an argument or when you get rid of them. They’ll never leave things like a phone behind, they always leave things like articles of clothing or earrings behind. Tell them to always take their things when they leave. If you need a reason just say you tend to throw things out a lot by accident. If they keep leaving things behind. Start doing this. It may seem harsh but they shouldn’t be marking territory at your place.
If the person is causing you serious trouble you might want to keep a paper trail or a record of their voicemail or other interactions for you in case you need to call the police or get a restraining order. Just keep in mind that if a person is extremely violent and willing to do something crazy, a piece of paper might not be enough. Have them sent to jail. You may need to defend yourself whether it’s a guy or girl. Men be aware that the laws don’t favor you and to use the aforementioned paper trail. The cops will in many cases arrest you anyways in a domestic dispute simply for being male. This is why I don’t recommend moving in with people unless you want to have a family.
One of the most important things to remember is not to date someone who is in your social circle, customer, or at your job. People like to do this because it is “easy” but you often just take on too much risk to make it worth the hassle. best to meet people in other places that won’t seep over into your professional life or risk messing things up with your closest friends. Go to places where people don’t know you and make friends there. It’s worth the effort.
Now that you are out you should reflect on what you have learned so you can avoid it again. Are you consistently dating unstable people? Maybe you should change where you meet people or the criteria you have for people. Cut down on your drama by focusing less on wild “excitement” and more on a general satisfaction for life. Find someone who will give you that while complementing you in the ways you desire.
Finally there are times where the problem could be you. Did you grow up in an unstable home? Were you a victim of abuse or neglect? These things can also play a part in instability and if you need to seek help it might be a good idea versus dealing with the insane. It may take a dose of humility but it is often worth it and can save you a lot of trouble. You may want to write down the experiences of the people you date and see if there is a pattern.
Hopefully these tips were helpful for you so you can get on the field and avoid the crazies!
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