Transcendent Growth: How To Master Rejection In 3 Steps.
Rejection is just getting through all of the bad before you get to the good.
1. Accepting Rejection.
Today I’d like to talk about mastering rejection. Not simply dealing with rejection or accepting rejection. I also want to discuss mastering rejection and making it work in your favor to enhance your own life. Rejection is a large part of life if you plan on accomplishing something. It matters if you plan on doing well in business, relationships, jobs, or anything else. You have to put yourself out there, and if you plan on growing you need to put yourself out there quite often.
Most people are far too terrified of this problem and let it conquer them but I’m here to show you that this can be conquered and you can in fact use rejection to your own advantage to make getting what you want that much easier. In life you often have to hear no a lot more than you hear yes. In business many types of advertising often have a 1-3% success rate which means they’re getting rejected over 95% of the time.
Why do they continue on with this high rate of rejection, because they know by being proactive and putting themselves out there they have an increased chance of getting what they want. In business I’ve done a lot of advertising, selling, and making proposals and why Id o well at it I’ve had to deal with a lot of no’s myself.
One thing you have to learn is to stop making rejection about you and stop telling yourself you’re inadequate, stupid, bad, or ugly because you’ve been rejected. It happens to everyone and often those who are actually quite good at something can take it more to heart because they’ve spent so much time trying to develop something only to get rejected.
There are times rejection can help, like when you get some useful constructive criticism quite often from many sources. In that case it is helpful and should be taken in a similar vein as the information I gave on failure before. The best way to look it at is “What’s the worst that could happen?”
You’re not going to die or lose a limb. Your life won’t be over simply because you got rejected, so don’t let it get you down. Take a more clinical approach to rejection and get out there and keep trying and adjusting until you get what you want. Try the PAFA approach.
2. Overcoming Rejection.
Since we’ve gone over how rejection isn’t the end of the world, we need to talk about how rejection can be overcome so that it doesn’t hinder your progress. The way you need to do this is the same way you strengthen any muscle and improve any skill. You need to get out and practice often. I know it sounds uncomfortable and it kind of sucks but if you want to get out of your comfort zone, you need to put yourself in a situation where things get uncomfortable. There are many ways to do this. How To Win Friends and Influence People is a timeless book on how to deal with people.
1. Approach someone for a business venture or do a business type pitch.
2. Do an audition or tryout of sorts. This definitely applies if you want to be an actor or something similar.
3. Sell something to potential customers and see how they react.
4. The most common way for most people is to approach someone they like and or find attractive and ask them out.
The key here is to get yourself starting quickly. The longer you sit around waiting and thinking about it the more you give yourself f a chance to talk yourself out of it. If you tell yourself, “This is worthless, what’s the point?” it’ll end up being worthless because you never tried.
If you try to come up with excuses about how they’re looking at their phone or talking to someone else so you shouldn’t bother with them, you’re just closing off opportunities. You need to get something going and then you’ll realized it’s not so bad once you get past the initial step of breaking the ice.
I’ve had to do this many times in business. I’ve had to sell and the first home or do that I went to was more apprehensive for me. Not out of fear but I just had to get myself “in the zone”. Once I got past my first person I was blazing through the rest. I have done this in a public speaking class. We had speeches that had to last a certain duration like 10 minutes. Most people were scared but I didn’t bother practicing or anything of the sort.
Of course when I was next to go I was thinking about it, but as I started talking I went through the minutes quickly. I often had to wrap things up quickly as well. It’s crazy what the mind does to itself. Think of your first approach as a “trial run” or a rough draft and it makes it easier. Another thing you can do is get a spreadsheet and write your progress as you go along. You’ll be motivated by the results and keep pushing as things get tough. I simply use an office program to do this.
3. Using Rejection To Your Advantage.
This part is where I talk about why it’s so important to master rejection and use it to your advantage. The advantage of it is the fact that you make many more opportunities for yourself by being proactive. When you put yourself out there without worrying about rejection something great happens. You create your own opportunities instead of waiting for them to come to you . If you’re never proactive, you just end up taking whatever comes your way instead of going for what you truly want. This is why it’s important to embrace rejection clinically. You can make the most of your life if you do.
Another great part about rejection is the weeding out factor. When you do something that gets you rejected more, you often end up weeding out more of the bad. When I deal with potential customers I have them do a variety of things beforehand. For example they have to sign service agreements and pay online. This may seem like a lot but I don’t want customers who won’t do these things so having people who do makes my life better. It’s better to get a no from someone unsuitable than to get a yews and then regret it later.
It’s the same thing with dating. When guys are more active and up front they may get more rejection. On the other hand they can find what they’re looking for quicker. Same for girls on dating profiles who put up requirements. They get fewer hits but they also weed out a lot of the bad.
Learning how to do these things puts you in a position of leadership. It’s better to make life happen instead of waiting for it to happen. If you want the most out of life you don’t want others deciding your fate. Rejection might seem like a dragon but with enough practice it can become a fly on your back that you can exterminate. Do this and your life will improve dramatically.
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